So I've been struggling, really struggling, with the fact that I'm going back to work in December. I MUST go and that's the worst part! We absolutely need two incomes in order to keep this little family of ours going. I have been a mess about it since the day we brought Michael home. I don't know what happened to me. Wait, I take that back. I know exactly what happened to me. I fell in love with my little baby boy and suddenly my entire perspective on life and what is really important changed in an instant. Before we had Michael, I knew I would have to go back, but now reality is hitting and it's making me panic!
Everywhere I read it says 'don't quit your job until you are absolutely sure you know it's what you want'. I do know that going back to work will make life for our family more financially secure and we will be able to do more as a family. I know this because Anthony and I have both gone over our finances trying to cut corners on things to keep me home. It is just not possible on one income. With that said, maybe it will make me feel good to have a career and be able to contribute to the family. I'm just dreading spending nine hours or more a day away from my baby! I know millions of families have their children in daycare and it works great for them. I just can't imagine it being ok for me. We'll see.
Believe it or not, there is a positive part to this post! I met Michael's day care lady earlier this month and am very happy with it! I didn't think I would, but I left her home feeling relieved that even though I wish I could be the one to take care of Michael all day, he would be with her. She is the sweetest lady, and the children in her daycare are adorable. I feel like we are having a family member watch him.
Another positive to this story is....a possible career move for myself. In my quest to find ways to stay home with Michael and contribute financially to our family, I came across online teaching. I haven't applied yet, nor have I mentioned anything to my boss, but when the time comes I will apply. It would seriously be the best thing for our family. (And right now, selfish reasons for myself :) We know we want more children in the future, and this job would be the best four our situation. I could be with my baby, have energy for my family, and still have a career. A career that I worked very hard for I might add and do enjoy!
That's it for now. I'm not going to think about going back to work until I have to. Until then, I'm going to enjoy every minute I have with my beautiful baby boy!
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